Many are not comfortable giving corrective feedback. Did you know it’s selfish when you hold back? Most people want to improve and get better. One study shows that 57% of employees prefer corrective feedback to praise.
Feedback only works, however, when you have the other person’s best interest in mind. It’s not about your ego or making yourself feel better. It’s about helping them. Your heart has to be in the right place so you don’t get a dopamine hit from correcting someone.
Begin by pausing before you speak. Notice your initial feelings. Is it defensiveness, relief, or frustration? Resist the urge to react immediately so you can give yourself space to reflect objectively. Which part of the feedback that you want to give is actually your problem, and which part is theirs? Get clear.
Then, begin the feedback by stating the facts. “This is what I observed…”. Follow that by these two key words “Next time, ….” and tell them how to do it better. These two magic words keep the other person from going into their terror zone, thinking they’re in trouble. It is empowering because they can’t change what they’ve done in the past, but they can change how to do it in the future. It’s a phrase often used in sports, e.g. “Next time swing like this…”.
Mindfully giving feedback is a skill that keeps you in service of others. It shows them that you care and that you are on their team.
Until next time, Sherif
Very poignant reminder. Thank you. As a leader I do not always slow down and take the breathe and it is invaluable.