Just Do It
This week I read an article by Jeff Matlow titled “The Drowning Person Doesn’t Need A Lecture.”
Jeff points to “just” as one of the most overused and unhelpful words in the world of leadership. You would never tell a drowning person to “just” swim. By the same token, advice that tells leaders to “just” prioritize better, “just” delegate more, “just” have that difficult conversation—all of that is unhelpful and can make the recipient more frustrated than they were in the first place. If it were that easy, they would have done it!
The article got me thinking about the word “just” and all the different areas of life it affects. It crops up in our personal lives, and even in how we talk to ourselves.
Have you ever wished your partner would “just” be more reasonable or “just” stop with that annoying habit? Have you ever wished your child would “just” put in more effort? Have you ever berated yourself for not “just” getting over something?
For me, this attitude is a side effect of a lack of mindfulness. Mindfulness asks us to pause, to be still, to be present, and to notice what’s around us. The “just” mindset is antithetical to that. It is a mode of closing off new inputs and moving on to the next thing. It takes us out of an empathetic relationship with the humans around us. Saying, “Do it that way, it’s easy!” is very different from sitting in discomfort with someone who is stuck or struggling.
What is the solution? To just stop saying “just”? Over the next week, see if you can identify a situation where the solution appears easy to you, so you find yourself frustrated another person won’t do what seems obvious to you. Notice the urge to say “just.” Instead, observe. Put yourself in their shoes. Find the space between listening and giving advice, then linger there past the point that you want to move on.
For me, this moment of mindfulness naturally opens a path of connection, and usually new and better solutions follow. See if the same happens for you.
Until next time, Sherif