How to Stop Suffering
Ever felt anxiety, overwhelm, anger, frustration, depression, or fear? All these emotions have something in common: They come about because the moment in front of us is different from what we expected. We think that if this moment looked like THIS instead of THAT, everything would be okay. But since it doesn’t look like THAT, we build resistance to it. That resistance transforms into the negative emotions listed above.
We humans suffer when we resist the present moment. This is not to say that we have to like something that is unpleasant. Not at all. But we have to be aware of not resisting what is unfolding, because that’s what causes suffering. What unfolds before you is reality. Resisting that doesn’t make sense, does it? If we can learn to accept reality without judgment or the need to control it, we allow ourselves to flow and to practice the Art of Allowing.
When unpleasant thoughts and feelings arise, allow yourself to be okay with it. Stop labeling them as good or bad. You don’t want to suppress negative feelings, because in the long term that will cause disease. Allowing the anxiety (or fear, stress, etc.) to exist and then sitting with it is the way to release it. Emotions are meant to be felt and are released when they are felt without judgment. You can’t hurry the process, just like you can’t hurry the process of a flower opening by manipulating its petals. It will open in its own time, naturally. In the same way, you will release negative emotions in their own time after you’ve felt them.
The wonderful Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh once wrote, “Breathing in, I dwell in the present moment. Breathing out, I feel it is a wonderful moment.”
It takes courage to surrender to the NOW, and it takes practice to teach your mind to be present. The payoff: the release of suffering.
Until next time, Sherif